"do you really feel that out of control of your life?"

duh yes!
of course if you think about how fragile your life is and you want to plan a bit ahead (not too much cause i love flexible too) you want to do a few of the things you always wanted to and it will take some planning on my part--
That was my einstein's reaction when i told him i wanted to plan a trip to orlando- oh well i thought i just go by myself cause you wont be ready!

stomach bug hit our house this weekend too- made me wonder if it was "my day" since Friday! ;o)

son drove into town and stayed with us which was amazing! and made me happy but between that and the bug well my weekend didnt get any of my list done- and that my friends is how my weekends (my only free time) my plans get away slipping like sand in an hour glass

So now i am down to 3 weekends in june - and any remaining june-bug time will have a theme "Chicago chicago here we come" cause the newly weds think its time to move on from the hotlanta to the Windy City
06.15  toes - in -the - sand  - son   come home again-- this next one and of course i know family time is very limited and i will drop anything in a minute for any extra time--- yard, and farmer market
06.23 possible here but there will be good bye parties to be a part of
06.29  big concert in our little square and we have a table reserved - the little family will head out on July 1!

and there we have it- time gone--gotta look at smaller bucket list of to dos

wanted to post an obviously favorite -denim placemats i would love to make them fit different shaped trays for eating at our deck

love time in my garden... thanks able- to- build- anything! big A

Our Deck:  thank you big A and belle' MOR

(together they make "Amor - god of love;" )

Big A made us a garden and Mor insisted we get it planted weeks earlier than i have ever put anything in the ground -- which was good because now we are getting veggies for our labor..

 having waited and waited This round red  just got picked for our sunday breakfast ummmm ~~

gonna go work on my list...

friday blablabla text messaging

there is a tornado in my heart (or head- sometimes i can not tell them apart)
extremely busy at work because i was flying solo 4 outta 5 days and it what we call "billing week"

text messages of various importance came thru all week long - of course to me they are all extremely important.  a few about a hair cut and a visit home from orlando -- and "oh yea i had a lunch date with a very petite, pretty sara"....
a few from our local souls about kittens and how to raise them and when a brother could take them ... and a couple from the married daughter ...

i love them and i cannot imagine life without text messaging!!

one or two that really do make me lol from my older- than- dirt -sister. she an i can laugh and be sarcastic about anything absolutely anything!  and to hear she has 51 black skirts in her attic well is honestly hilarious (fyi this word should have 2 l's)  honestly if she would blog with me it would be a huge hit!

talked to my middle sister, and while she doesnt make me laugh... her life means the  world to me! I love every one of her characters and their plots---

my cuzin's that i have gone 11 years without in my life text me thru the week as well-- they update their family statuses and life..one more than another but they both make me laugh as well-- pretty sure we could have fun any where but only if one would have a drink with us---  no other cuz's pay us much attention...that is ok my momma raised me better than that!

time has become so precious to me this week...words...memories... what if's.... life is so fucking unfair PERIOD! faith or not! it is unfair!

"her only sin is familiarity" (mad men 2012)  i dont want to be familiar! i want to be desired above all! who the hell thought of "familiarity" and how do you get rid of it?

"she looked like she was asleep, we saw her before we left for the day and at noon we come home to see if she packed to leave and she is asleep?" dead after morning coffee and 2 weeks with her husband? really how in the hell does that happen? and buried a week after spending days at the beach with her husband?  a god? i dont think so not for a minute.

beer on friday... yep that is where i am with my beer and lap top cause the man of my life, the one so familiar with me man is asleep in his hammock and i am having to listen to this super weird depressing radio station...alone again
i want to get rid of the buzz and stay up and plan all the things i will at least plan to do--

Einstein told me tonight that he was fine i he died tonight if this was it.... i am so not alright with it for either of us my heart is screaming so loud LIVE do it ! just do it

fridays just arent what they use to be

first! I lost a pound!! and acquired 2 tiny too little to be away from their momma kittens now i have 6 in the house and I m allergic to them! yep have asthma and everything!

but i lost a pound, learned i can discipline myself, and may find more than an escape from life  right here!

make has been a word that has really tumbled thru my head and thoughts this week  can anyone "make" another happy? 

frustrated is a tone of the evening... to sit thru a 9.5 hour day, a 44 hour week and want smiles and laughs. 2 of my adult children were very self absorbed - oh well they had their own weeks i know and fine! but then avengers? and talk of being so tired at 8:30pm - oh well i dont really care other than this is a stupid movie and i may go pay full price to see it some place alone

then ediets frustrated me! why cant i find my way around at all that site!!

my life is frustrating me!  cuz its really "made" by others and it "makes" me frustrated!!

avengers? are you kidding me? ahhhh and it isnt even a good copy! i think i need a chick week!

**FRESH**

speaking of fresh! happy fresh start to a new month, a new season (tho here in the south spring and summer blend together much earlier which is why i stay in the south!)


day 5 of watching what goes in my mouth, thinking of healthy food and wonderful tasty cold water with fresh mint (that I grew).
This is actually going easier than i thought- (first 10lbs usually are) and i am not expecting fan*ta*bu*lous results at my weigh in Friday cause i did celebrate memorial day weekend with beer and banana pudding but since Monday i actually realize i am not thrilled by the oreos i am thrilled by telling myself that i deserve to NOT eat the oreos !

Fresh home grown romaine lettuce, parsley banana pepper, basil with locally grown gourmet turnips cut very thin and all topped with a wonderful new fav lime-honey vinaigrette dressing 

I have made it a point to get out and about on walks and conscious of the water drinking trying to take in half my body weight in oz of water but at very least 64 oz.  It has had a positive affect on my energy level and hunger control

This is a salad i tossed together a couple of weeks ago when i first found the lime-honey vinaigrette dressing... it had apples and strawberries along with the Romaine Lettuce and arugula as well

this crisp flavorful and yes a bit of time consuming salads were tasty and visually appealing and the goal will be to top 'em this weekend!  Because we deserve delicious fresh meals.

kohl rabi ahhh what is that?

dont get me wrong - i love mondays that fall on tuesday - but tuesdays are happy days cause they are not monday! any day is happy to not be monday but look now they ask tuesday to cover for monday! HATE THAT and then no day after that feels right!

farmers market in my not so little town square had a family farm there that sold me this strange little veggie--  the husband was very nice and said his wife had put some recipies up to try with this :

Kohl Rabi 

one of the many reasons i like the farmers market is i get to meet and learn  

took this funny little guy home, and found the recipes.  I chose to go with the roasting it and threw i n some freshly bought squash and seasonings covered with aluminum and roast similarly as i would a potato

It was alot of fun to show before and after to the family and then have them taste it.  some said it was like a Brussels sprout but different.  one thought it like a turnip but not as bitter and one thought it was like a potato but not!  So we may not have enough tastes or vocabulary to make this one as appealing but it did bring great smiles:

and after all the stress i have felt over this 3 day weekend let me say HOORAY!!!

monday day 1 of diet with ediets--

here we go! it wont be easy and i hate that- but i hate the way i feel about myself more-
Starting here at 150- yep 150! no muscle at all

weight loss simulator shows what 120 is gonna look like

bust:39
waist 34
hips 41

lets take a minute and review why i am unhappy-
first emotional battle field with myself and it spills over into influencing my interaction with others in a negative way or in a very self humiliating way
nothing fits right even my stretchy jeans!
activity level is low to nothing and i have little to know energy most of the day.

So give my self a 3 week routine explosion!
Joined ediets which helped me alot so many years ago (I like being on a team no matter what)
spend 3 days looking at menus, recipes, "challenges" and have chosen the

• Low glycemic impact diet  ("Our Glycemic Impact meal plan has the right nutritional balance to help you maintain blood sugar levels, avoid hunger and stay energetic all day while losing weight. You'll enjoy the perfect combination of complex carbohydrates, lean protein and healthy fats, making this a plan you can follow for life!")
• 1200-1300 calories (pretty sure it will be closer to the 1300-1400 with amount of exercise)
• 74oz of water a day PERIOD
• signed up to play "life's Odyssey" and chart it all for 3 weeks to earn point for my team! 

long weekends are ...

stressful is probably not the first word that comes to mind when you realize that there is a 3 day weekend looming in front of you...unless you are more like me than not~

what will i do that is fun, will make me laugh, fulfill me, make it memorable....what am i going to think of to do that is fun for all but not "work" for me.  how will i entice others to come spend time with me and not be sad that all my kids are not home and eager to chill around me....how can i get excited about dong "house work" that bugs me daily but now i have time to do and dont really want to!

well it starts with an argument on Thursday evening so you go to bed at 8:30pm-- which was badly needed but.... then you wake very early and pack a bag to run away just incase this is the time you are really going to run. THEN you go to the office before 7;00am - that you really dont like, sit in a cubicle and hope you dont piss off your yankee bitch of a boss....then it is 4:30 and you leave...

Start the weekend at the usual mexican restaurant with at least one of my favorite kids and her husband--then off to a free local "square event"  this was very nice!  beer, older people than me there to enjoy the sounds of the "big band" group.  Wish i had gotten a picture with the first friend i made here, he was looking for a seat and i was hogging the only bench near the music gazebo.  He was tall, friendly eyes, blonde with a healthy dose of sun color on his face, beautiful shade of orange sherbert shorts on, and he was early to mid 70's.  he had spent a lifetime in the same town that i have called home for over 25 years. (guess that is a life time too)  finally met his wife - nice old couple that was very real - she complained she couldnt hear from where we were sitting and he told her to "just turn up your hearing aide!"  lol!

love my not so little town

my take on life and married life in particular is becoming more simple (at least in my own head) do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do or dont do it! not many years left healthy and free to do--
soon one of us will not be well and the other will be sad and struggle daily with the other's distress until one of us dies and the other is going to be so sad and wonder why we didnt do more that we enjoyed.  till then well we are pretty easy to entertain!

I personally hate our house-- it is a good house for someone but not me- i want to embrace my inner hippie ( and no that doesnt mean be stoned all the time just some times) and find a small 3 bedroom 2 bath house, hire a yard person- or be rid of the yard- hang things from the trees. lots of funny little things- make strange sculpture and put it in the front yard maybe paint my house a funny color--- I want this--gypsy wagon

but for now i guess i will just go turn my shorts outside right- been wearing them inside out while posting and just realized it! LOL!! now that is entertaining!!
next post.... more pics less bitching---maybe  (