Tuesday tunes--bubbles from an old brain

wandering from my cubicle hell

before i loose my mind completely and going to the starbucks.... a "forgiven" leave of absence is a run to starbucks --- and i walk in and order a chocolate chunk cookie and an iced latte.  Suddenly i wanted to cry-  It was and is hot as hell, I hate being in gray cloth walled room for 8+ hours and no confirmation from the queen b that she is appreciative of the hours and work I have done- and my starbucks partner my cookie sharer has moved away- far away!

I had to coach myself to not let it flow but to be a big girl, wash my face and get back in that gd cube and make some dollars so i can pay for this great phone i so love!  and i really really love it and want to marry it!


Got home (with still a mountain of work left undone) after 9 hours in the world of gray felt and called my starbucks partner!  Her voice lightened my heart immediately! and I heard a touch of boredom and "what am i gonna do now" in her voice and instantly felt like this is a problem i understand oh so well-- only to have a ferocious storm break thru the heat/humidity and with lots of lightening, thunder and hard rain I had to rush thru my conversation to close windows, pick tomatoes.

when i snapped this picture i wondered if the neighbors should give approval of how they sorta show up in all my pics - but thankfully they are not too paranoid and probably wont care since no one reads my blog anyway! lol!  But as i walked away with this pic I thought--- the similarities between my starbucks partner and myself are amazing   She was so very busy especially the last 3 years here in school, working, and planning her wedding- and now she is home .... waiting wondering and planning -
I was so very busy for oh 28 years of my life (especially 21) and now well i work for my phone but I wait for all to come home for visits and remember when they were all here all day!

love you my babies

Oh yea almost for got to tell the song of the mind bubble today was... "well hello dolly, well hello dolly with Carol Channing just like I saw her in NEW YORK 1977

funny little songs funny little ideas ...

a strange song got into my head the other day and i couldnt stand it a minute longer!   Joan dear- Joan Baez a wonderful folk song artist did so many different songs so why did that one get stuck! I dont even know all the words...only

 "Virgil quick come see there goes the Robert E. Lee...the night they drove old dixie down...nanananananannnannnna" (in purple cause i think folk singers like purple, specially folk singers from the real hippy day....

hell the year i was born she was 17 so you know this woman deserves respect but why does that damn song get stuck-- check it out follow the link - listen and see if you can remember any of it!

then for the first time in eons i had a creative - sketching impulse that wouldnt let me sleep till I drew it! so i did and made myself stay up and sketched this: 

nothing fancy but it just had to be done ya know-- and then on the way home from work i put it together in my head for a canvas- yep canvas i havent wanted to go near a canvas! lol so something a little weird going on here-

Then einstein and i just had our first date anniversary--- 34 years ago on the fourth of july my mom asked me to go to the store and get her some beer- he lived 2 doors down from us and we hadn't seen each other in oh 3 or 4 years (he was away in college) and he stood up from a lounge chair (shouldve been my first warning) and he had the most beautiful eyes, build, long blonde hair and a tan- (last one since that day fyi)  OMG he was a rock star and he was pretending to hitch hike so of course I picked him up---
couple of funny things from that moment
*one truly funny- it was a bench front seat and I am 5 ft tall had he was a tad over 6 so he had to sit with his knees up to his ears! and acted like that was his fav way to ride!
* we took the beer to my house and of course my mom talked at record speed of excitement while he seemed to either not understand or could care less.  she was bragging about me in my last year of college (which had been my most wildest ever) and he really didnt interact at all- another clue-
*he asked me out (on a date) sorta for the next night but i had to work and put off my steady so we moved it out to July 6th.  and that my dears is a story for another entry--
TEASER-- I didnt get home till 5 AM- sober as a Nun! and learned more about nuclear power than anyone should on a date parked under an oak tree!

Hot hot 'lanta nights

It started like this on friday with a bit of Doobie tribute band on the little town square.

it was about 101 degrees and it had been such a week watching another baby leave the nest...

So that first weekend as empty nesters - again - was not any easier.  We get so excited when the birdies ask for temporary housing but then they need to leave again!

So our space will go from this:

to THIS

SO back to Friday:  we danced  the night away taken it to the streets

and some of us just kept trying to fly! 

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Then all day saturday well i mourned and did laundry and baby sat for my son's pets and NO that doesnt make them my grand pets!  but they were cute

yes Grey Kitty's can sit on the table

 *******and yes GD (Grey Dog) is smiling!*****

then you have Sunday-- I had to really worked hard to get in the cooking mood again 

(healthy good home made fresh) and it led me to this dish for tonight:

Fresh cold Gazpacho Soup from the Pioneer woman.  blackened fish from Sam's warehouse.  I was out of cucumbers so used the lighter green leaves of the romaine lettuce that was in the fridge.  Fresh squeeze of lime and basil and oregano and it was a very delicious!

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But the einstein holds the trophy for the weekend TA-dah!!

we have had baby owls swooning us every evening for a week and each day it sent the man to the internet first (OF COURSE!) 

 and then the idea and plans kept him up at night until at last this weekend-

 The owl box...

a mission so strong to his heart that he couldnt leave the process long enough to eat dinner so I brought it to him so he could continue to stain the box

same color as our deck --- I call it "Dunmovin Brown"

 and added the roof! that he hopes will be too slick for squirrels

                   Climbed up to the highest point do-able (and it was only 102 degrees)

                        When he gets it into his head to do something  he gives it 105%

                      and he got this beautiful box up for future feathered families

ahhh and now we all go off to start another week!  cause i need to keep up with all those dang kiddos! spread out all over the place

and now...

I have about one minute before i need to hop into the shower. and no picture ready to upload and dont think i can upload from my new phone to my old laptop any way!!

But we have watched and encouraged and cheered as another has left the nest! And omg it is so exciting - I can still feel my own thrill when we struck out to be our own new family -
The feelings inside my heart are like none I have ever felt in my life! not good not bad just very new.

Embracing change has not always been so difficult for me though...that is how i survived and mostly thrived in my life.  History, personal history, when you wake up and feel you have more personal history than you had before... wtf do you do with that?

7 minutes past shower time!! but this space in the universe is claimed

Welcome home morgan and andrew to your own home!

shut my eyes to catch my breath

a couple of days ago i realized how shallow each inhale was that is how i know fear is creeping around.  if i shut my eyes it makes the fear invisible and i air flows in with ease.

sitting here in the shade today in the echos of small kids and parents in the adjoining yards. whimpers of tired and or hungry very small girls and the sound of boy trying to kick a ball into the next time zone.  do the parent really understand that to day is a precious moment in their lives? probably not they are in the weekend state of relaxing and planning for monday.

this is my mess! my big beautiful mess! that makes me so proud! has taught me so much about life and about myself. they came, they ate,laughed, hugged and left! and my mantra that last 30 mins is dont cry be proud but pride makes my eyes flood too!

So we went out and about...Actually einstein was too agreeable to "wander a flea market with me?" even though it was so perfectly beautiful outside today (rare in mid June) but he said yes--

We found such treasures!

Such thinking outside of the box!

love the rose pedal stool

and such wonderful things doors can do

and a hall door with shelves and mirror! perfect for an indie entry foyer - possibly in chicago!

How about a "cup of light" for my deck!

and then we have another reminder that no matter who you were when you pass on all of those who remembered you are passed your life can end up in a flea market!

well the long and the short of this is that einstein really wanted to get me to the Floor ware house to look at hard wood flooring!!

and miracles of miracles we found two we agree on for an already "judge" paneled family room--
Bamboo flooring--
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so today i will end the day with a  moment with my most fav characters in the universe!

"do you really feel that out of control of your life?"

duh yes!
of course if you think about how fragile your life is and you want to plan a bit ahead (not too much cause i love flexible too) you want to do a few of the things you always wanted to and it will take some planning on my part--
That was my einstein's reaction when i told him i wanted to plan a trip to orlando- oh well i thought i just go by myself cause you wont be ready!

stomach bug hit our house this weekend too- made me wonder if it was "my day" since Friday! ;o)

son drove into town and stayed with us which was amazing! and made me happy but between that and the bug well my weekend didnt get any of my list done- and that my friends is how my weekends (my only free time) my plans get away slipping like sand in an hour glass

So now i am down to 3 weekends in june - and any remaining june-bug time will have a theme "Chicago chicago here we come" cause the newly weds think its time to move on from the hotlanta to the Windy City
06.15  toes - in -the - sand  - son   come home again-- this next one and of course i know family time is very limited and i will drop anything in a minute for any extra time--- yard, and farmer market
06.23 possible here but there will be good bye parties to be a part of
06.29  big concert in our little square and we have a table reserved - the little family will head out on July 1!

and there we have it- time gone--gotta look at smaller bucket list of to dos

wanted to post an obviously favorite -denim placemats i would love to make them fit different shaped trays for eating at our deck

love time in my garden... thanks able- to- build- anything! big A

Our Deck:  thank you big A and belle' MOR

(together they make "Amor - god of love;" )

Big A made us a garden and Mor insisted we get it planted weeks earlier than i have ever put anything in the ground -- which was good because now we are getting veggies for our labor..

 having waited and waited This round red  just got picked for our sunday breakfast ummmm ~~

gonna go work on my list...

friday blablabla text messaging

there is a tornado in my heart (or head- sometimes i can not tell them apart)
extremely busy at work because i was flying solo 4 outta 5 days and it what we call "billing week"

text messages of various importance came thru all week long - of course to me they are all extremely important.  a few about a hair cut and a visit home from orlando -- and "oh yea i had a lunch date with a very petite, pretty sara"....
a few from our local souls about kittens and how to raise them and when a brother could take them ... and a couple from the married daughter ...

i love them and i cannot imagine life without text messaging!!

one or two that really do make me lol from my older- than- dirt -sister. she an i can laugh and be sarcastic about anything absolutely anything!  and to hear she has 51 black skirts in her attic well is honestly hilarious (fyi this word should have 2 l's)  honestly if she would blog with me it would be a huge hit!

talked to my middle sister, and while she doesnt make me laugh... her life means the  world to me! I love every one of her characters and their plots---

my cuzin's that i have gone 11 years without in my life text me thru the week as well-- they update their family statuses and life..one more than another but they both make me laugh as well-- pretty sure we could have fun any where but only if one would have a drink with us---  no other cuz's pay us much attention...that is ok my momma raised me better than that!

time has become so precious to me this week...words...memories... what if's.... life is so fucking unfair PERIOD! faith or not! it is unfair!

"her only sin is familiarity" (mad men 2012)  i dont want to be familiar! i want to be desired above all! who the hell thought of "familiarity" and how do you get rid of it?

"she looked like she was asleep, we saw her before we left for the day and at noon we come home to see if she packed to leave and she is asleep?" dead after morning coffee and 2 weeks with her husband? really how in the hell does that happen? and buried a week after spending days at the beach with her husband?  a god? i dont think so not for a minute.

beer on friday... yep that is where i am with my beer and lap top cause the man of my life, the one so familiar with me man is asleep in his hammock and i am having to listen to this super weird depressing radio station...alone again
i want to get rid of the buzz and stay up and plan all the things i will at least plan to do--

Einstein told me tonight that he was fine i he died tonight if this was it.... i am so not alright with it for either of us my heart is screaming so loud LIVE do it ! just do it