it is time

time to come back to a place to find all the space and words of the UNIVERSE! time has roared like a lion this summer... first of our four kids to marry! and the last of four leaves for college in just hours!

my bones ache, my skin is loose, my mind rarely can think ahead at all! and my heart can break with the greatest of ease. My hormones that once drove all the passion and energy now well not sure I have any hormones left!

before now I could psych myself well! a few vitamins, a few days of consecutive exercise and some good rock'n roll and my mind was healed of the bluez.

it isn't working this time....so i have had to say "OK" to the antidepressants. they are ok really! but i thought i might be above truly needing them, oh well. life is too short to not live it happy at least most of the time.

so with this new chapter, or perhaps with this addendum to a story that has been told let me use this space to color in the purpose of my silent thinking that hurts in my head so many days.

why must there be a purpose to life? why must mine mean anything at all? why cant i live just knowing that i am alive