and now...

I have about one minute before i need to hop into the shower. and no picture ready to upload and dont think i can upload from my new phone to my old laptop any way!!

But we have watched and encouraged and cheered as another has left the nest! And omg it is so exciting - I can still feel my own thrill when we struck out to be our own new family -
The feelings inside my heart are like none I have ever felt in my life! not good not bad just very new.

Embracing change has not always been so difficult for me though...that is how i survived and mostly thrived in my life.  History, personal history, when you wake up and feel you have more personal history than you had before... wtf do you do with that?

7 minutes past shower time!! but this space in the universe is claimed

Welcome home morgan and andrew to your own home!

shut my eyes to catch my breath

a couple of days ago i realized how shallow each inhale was that is how i know fear is creeping around.  if i shut my eyes it makes the fear invisible and i air flows in with ease.

sitting here in the shade today in the echos of small kids and parents in the adjoining yards. whimpers of tired and or hungry very small girls and the sound of boy trying to kick a ball into the next time zone.  do the parent really understand that to day is a precious moment in their lives? probably not they are in the weekend state of relaxing and planning for monday.

this is my mess! my big beautiful mess! that makes me so proud! has taught me so much about life and about myself. they came, they ate,laughed, hugged and left! and my mantra that last 30 mins is dont cry be proud but pride makes my eyes flood too!

So we went out and about...Actually einstein was too agreeable to "wander a flea market with me?" even though it was so perfectly beautiful outside today (rare in mid June) but he said yes--

We found such treasures!

Such thinking outside of the box!

love the rose pedal stool

and such wonderful things doors can do

and a hall door with shelves and mirror! perfect for an indie entry foyer - possibly in chicago!

How about a "cup of light" for my deck!

and then we have another reminder that no matter who you were when you pass on all of those who remembered you are passed your life can end up in a flea market!

well the long and the short of this is that einstein really wanted to get me to the Floor ware house to look at hard wood flooring!!

and miracles of miracles we found two we agree on for an already "judge" paneled family room--
Bamboo flooring--
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so today i will end the day with a  moment with my most fav characters in the universe!

"do you really feel that out of control of your life?"

duh yes!
of course if you think about how fragile your life is and you want to plan a bit ahead (not too much cause i love flexible too) you want to do a few of the things you always wanted to and it will take some planning on my part--
That was my einstein's reaction when i told him i wanted to plan a trip to orlando- oh well i thought i just go by myself cause you wont be ready!

stomach bug hit our house this weekend too- made me wonder if it was "my day" since Friday! ;o)

son drove into town and stayed with us which was amazing! and made me happy but between that and the bug well my weekend didnt get any of my list done- and that my friends is how my weekends (my only free time) my plans get away slipping like sand in an hour glass

So now i am down to 3 weekends in june - and any remaining june-bug time will have a theme "Chicago chicago here we come" cause the newly weds think its time to move on from the hotlanta to the Windy City
06.15  toes - in -the - sand  - son   come home again-- this next one and of course i know family time is very limited and i will drop anything in a minute for any extra time--- yard, and farmer market
06.23 possible here but there will be good bye parties to be a part of
06.29  big concert in our little square and we have a table reserved - the little family will head out on July 1!

and there we have it- time gone--gotta look at smaller bucket list of to dos

wanted to post an obviously favorite -denim placemats i would love to make them fit different shaped trays for eating at our deck

love time in my garden... thanks able- to- build- anything! big A

Our Deck:  thank you big A and belle' MOR

(together they make "Amor - god of love;" )

Big A made us a garden and Mor insisted we get it planted weeks earlier than i have ever put anything in the ground -- which was good because now we are getting veggies for our labor..

 having waited and waited This round red  just got picked for our sunday breakfast ummmm ~~

gonna go work on my list...

friday blablabla text messaging

there is a tornado in my heart (or head- sometimes i can not tell them apart)
extremely busy at work because i was flying solo 4 outta 5 days and it what we call "billing week"

text messages of various importance came thru all week long - of course to me they are all extremely important.  a few about a hair cut and a visit home from orlando -- and "oh yea i had a lunch date with a very petite, pretty sara"....
a few from our local souls about kittens and how to raise them and when a brother could take them ... and a couple from the married daughter ...

i love them and i cannot imagine life without text messaging!!

one or two that really do make me lol from my older- than- dirt -sister. she an i can laugh and be sarcastic about anything absolutely anything!  and to hear she has 51 black skirts in her attic well is honestly hilarious (fyi this word should have 2 l's)  honestly if she would blog with me it would be a huge hit!

talked to my middle sister, and while she doesnt make me laugh... her life means the  world to me! I love every one of her characters and their plots---

my cuzin's that i have gone 11 years without in my life text me thru the week as well-- they update their family statuses and life..one more than another but they both make me laugh as well-- pretty sure we could have fun any where but only if one would have a drink with us---  no other cuz's pay us much attention...that is ok my momma raised me better than that!

time has become so precious to me this week...words...memories... what if's.... life is so fucking unfair PERIOD! faith or not! it is unfair!

"her only sin is familiarity" (mad men 2012)  i dont want to be familiar! i want to be desired above all! who the hell thought of "familiarity" and how do you get rid of it?

"she looked like she was asleep, we saw her before we left for the day and at noon we come home to see if she packed to leave and she is asleep?" dead after morning coffee and 2 weeks with her husband? really how in the hell does that happen? and buried a week after spending days at the beach with her husband?  a god? i dont think so not for a minute.

beer on friday... yep that is where i am with my beer and lap top cause the man of my life, the one so familiar with me man is asleep in his hammock and i am having to listen to this super weird depressing radio station...alone again
i want to get rid of the buzz and stay up and plan all the things i will at least plan to do--

Einstein told me tonight that he was fine i he died tonight if this was it.... i am so not alright with it for either of us my heart is screaming so loud LIVE do it ! just do it

fridays just arent what they use to be

first! I lost a pound!! and acquired 2 tiny too little to be away from their momma kittens now i have 6 in the house and I m allergic to them! yep have asthma and everything!

but i lost a pound, learned i can discipline myself, and may find more than an escape from life  right here!

make has been a word that has really tumbled thru my head and thoughts this week  can anyone "make" another happy? 

frustrated is a tone of the evening... to sit thru a 9.5 hour day, a 44 hour week and want smiles and laughs. 2 of my adult children were very self absorbed - oh well they had their own weeks i know and fine! but then avengers? and talk of being so tired at 8:30pm - oh well i dont really care other than this is a stupid movie and i may go pay full price to see it some place alone

then ediets frustrated me! why cant i find my way around at all that site!!

my life is frustrating me!  cuz its really "made" by others and it "makes" me frustrated!!

avengers? are you kidding me? ahhhh and it isnt even a good copy! i think i need a chick week!

**FRESH**

speaking of fresh! happy fresh start to a new month, a new season (tho here in the south spring and summer blend together much earlier which is why i stay in the south!)


day 5 of watching what goes in my mouth, thinking of healthy food and wonderful tasty cold water with fresh mint (that I grew).
This is actually going easier than i thought- (first 10lbs usually are) and i am not expecting fan*ta*bu*lous results at my weigh in Friday cause i did celebrate memorial day weekend with beer and banana pudding but since Monday i actually realize i am not thrilled by the oreos i am thrilled by telling myself that i deserve to NOT eat the oreos !

Fresh home grown romaine lettuce, parsley banana pepper, basil with locally grown gourmet turnips cut very thin and all topped with a wonderful new fav lime-honey vinaigrette dressing 

I have made it a point to get out and about on walks and conscious of the water drinking trying to take in half my body weight in oz of water but at very least 64 oz.  It has had a positive affect on my energy level and hunger control

This is a salad i tossed together a couple of weeks ago when i first found the lime-honey vinaigrette dressing... it had apples and strawberries along with the Romaine Lettuce and arugula as well

this crisp flavorful and yes a bit of time consuming salads were tasty and visually appealing and the goal will be to top 'em this weekend!  Because we deserve delicious fresh meals.