Friday, October 28, 2011

longing to you

it takes so very little to make so happy. attention to what i am saying is a mind blower! smiles on my kids faces always makes me happy.
small inconsistencies well they really screw with my trust ability...i am tired and have much to do in the next 24 hours

Friday, October 21, 2011

ok it is friday and

It is friday and I am not so happy to report that other than taking my 1billionth car load to good will - not much of my challenge has been touched! Oh the little reminders come to my phone and I read them and smile and delete!
Modge Podged 2 things to a page before the kids came over with the first load o move in....their two kittens are here. But in that brief moment of creativity I heard a couple of things in my head...Gratitude towards myself and humor is my gift - topped with a hefty drizzle of gift of mediator.
This week
began with a boulder of hurt feelings- by none other that the rocket scientist himself. Of course I blame myself for being so needy but it did keep me away ALOT of Sunday night.

quickly interrupted mid morning by the gifted wonder woman daughter...dealing with siblings that she would like to just put out into the street. many painful arthritic texts later....because neither of us are short winded-

lead into a change in plans for the entire family a month out! for someone so anti-judgement she is wont do anything but judge this relationship.

then i got the greatest text, "wish you were here to take care of me" our almost 19 year college animal was very sick. i do worry she is pushing the party limit but assure myself she is a smart kids and will realize eventually her own limits or she will lose the scholarship and be home!

what I would most like to do in the next life - or the next few days-
get the couple settled in there make believe apartment at the other side of our house.
get a couple of good family recipes and a generous amount of food in the pantry
get to the gym
and push myself to finish one page of my art journal and stop moving supplies, looking at other's on blogs,
putting my "things" together--

My Song page will most certainly start with WHITE CHRISTMAS (which I havent sung in a long time fyi)
but it is a song i sing when i am happy with life, my life. OUR HOUSE just bubbles up when I say those words, or am trying to keep my doldrums away...THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING...light hearted feeling of taking control of my own life.

Damn the rocket scientist is out of the turn....the day starts....wonder what will happen...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

already challenged and i want to challenge myself some more

It is a good day when I smile and accomplish small or big tasks-- being an empty nester for the first time in 30 years has shown me that I depended on the kids to regulate my schedule. To tether me to the planet and motivate me to self discipline (and self denial as well)

work gives a bit of schedule but it is very slow right now
my ass and hips feel like mush and my energy level is quickly moving into winter mod
eating habits ... well cereal is very good for an empty nester that hates to cook

my art work shop is constantly put to the side- and i really want to do it
but all the "stuff" that needs to be done for cleaning and organizing keep getting in the way. Not to mention I have to do so much on the side to limit arguing with einstein and he seems to collect faster than i can move it out

I have noticed the last two or three days that I stop or simply dont start something if I think it will overlap in to our couple time...*** he doesnt think like that at all----actually no one in my family cares --- if they want todo it they do it***

Today---begins a ME challenge-- I am going to work on being Me protective, entertained, enriched ---Selfish acutally and this will be a big challenge for ME!

First big schedule change....go to the gym when i want to-- I believe I want to go at 4:30 or 5:00...SO for thirty days--- they gym after work!